So I was thinking…..these words are enough to inspire fear, or at least nervousness, maybe annoyance, not sure which, in my husband, but you have nothing to worry about. I was thinking about my blog, Pot Roast, My Ass, and what I wanted to say was that my husband never tried to make me into anyone that I was not. I don’t know if I can tell you, but I am going to try or course, how much that means to me.
He didn’t tell me until about a year ago that when we were at The Basic School at Quantico, he was called into his superior officer’s office and this conversation took place.
Superior Officer: So your wife is one of those liberated women?
Bill: Yes, Sir.
SO: How do you feel about that? (Or maybe, Do you like that? I can’t remember the exact words.)
Bill: I like it just fine, Sir.
If there was more to this conversation, he did not tell me.
I found the fact that he waited twenty some years to tell me about this conversation so touching. We were both under so much stress at that base and during that time. It was nine months of hell, for me, anyway. It was nine months of intense training for him. They put him and all of the Marines under physical stress but also mental stress to see how much they could take. They were training to be leaders and they had to be able to lead under stress. He worked long, long days that of course, started very early. During the week we had little time together. (Then he stayed longer for another school, so of course, WE stayed longer at that base.)
Being called in to talk to his superior officer was a HUGE FUCKING DEAL. I got him in trouble. I didn’t know it and he never told me until almost a year ago.
I HATED being an officer’s wife. I loved being Bill’s wife, and he understood the difference.
We started dating when we were teenagers. We fell in love. We were best friends and totally in love almost from the beginning. I am not a romantic, sappy person but there it is. We were incredibly loyal to each other. We still are.
I did not initially understand his decision to join the Marine Corps when we were in college, but we supported each other in every decision that we made. That was it. Period. So I supported him and he supported me.
I worked part time at an emergency shelter for victims of domestic violence while he was in TBS (The Basic School) training to be a Marine Officer. This was not an easy job for me to have. I mean for him. I didn’t do that on purpose. It was the job I found and it certainly appealed to me and my feminist sensibilities. I needed to work. I was going crazy being at home all the time. I was sad and bored. Working at that job made me happy. He supported me.
Last night Bill and I were watching television and he said many things that made me laugh so hard that I could not breath. Over and over, I said, “Stop, stop talking.” Not every night is like that, but many are. I repeatedly said, that is going in my blog. He laughed and said, “It’s your blog.” However, most of it was too outrageous or inappropriate to be repeated here and that is partly why it was so damn funny! Sorry about that.
I think this is what marriage, at least for us, is about. It IS about making each other laugh and having fun but it’s also standing by each other no matter what. We have had good times, amazing, funny, silly times but also stressful and horrific times.
We are lucky to have found each other so young. I love you, Bill.