So I was thinking….I know, but here I go anyway. I was thinking about a past job and a past supervisor. The thing is she could be cruel. She said things to me that were sometimes outrageous and, well, not nice to say the least, but the thing I have not been able to forget is the thing she said to me either two or three weeks after my sister died.
On that same day a client died, and now we know I take that pretty seriously. He was a nice man and he died unexpectedly. He literally, suddenly fell down and died. I don’t know what caused his death and it was a shock to everyone. No, he was not super healthy, but he also was not seriously ill and he was not an older man.
It broke my heart that he died. I cried in the office that day and that same supervisor gave me a hug when I did. On the same day that he died, I went home after work and received the news from my husband that my sister and my uncle had died. I called my supervisor and told her the next day and took the allowed time off, only three days.
Two or three weeks later, I was sitting in my supervisor’s office and she said this to me. “Either get over it, or get counseling.”
I was in shock from the death of three people I cared about. My supervisor had spent the last, I don’t know six months or more threatening to fire me and my coworkers every other day or so as we continued to work our asses off for our clients. It was a stressful environment to work in, to say the least. Threatening to fire us was their motivation technique. It seemed to be the only one they could think of and they used it relentlessly.
I did not say anything hostile or otherwise to her in response to her statement, “get over it or get counseling”.. I was in pain.
I was shocked that she said something so cruel and cold. I remember thinking that she must not have ever lost anyone close to her to be able to be so cruel.
We actually went on and had a meeting after that remark about my clients, their needs, my documentation, where I was with my reports, etc., and the things we (and all the people she supervised) usually met about on a regular basis.
Now that it has been a long, long time since that remark, and I am not lost in a fog of grief and pain, I have a few things to say.
First of all, Miss S., FUCK you.
Second of all, what you said to me was cruel and completely inappropriate and unnecessary, not just as a supervisor, but as a human being.
Third, I hope that you have matured are no longer cruel, like you were then to the people you supervise, or to anyone. However, at that point in time, in my opinion, you were cruel and emotionally abusive and not just on this one occasion. This one ……does…..stand….out.
Maybe you were going through some serious shit in your own personal life. I don’t know, but seriously, why would you treat someone in pain that way? Why would you treat anyone that way?And your supervisor, yeah, she should be ashamed too. And the supervisor before you, S., him too. There was an atmosphere there that treating people like shit was okay. Why was that? Maybe someone can explain it to me, because I really, honestly don’t understand.
Not every supervisor did it. Some people were respectful, but it appeared to be the exception, at least in management. This is my opinion.
And I think that is all I have to say.