I finally watched or tried to watch the video the blogger made fat shaming people. It wasn’t funny. Perhaps because it came from a place of hate? Perhaps because it’s not okay to fat shame people, ever?
I am fat. I’m a woman, a human being. I have feelings. I was sexually abused, and I have worn a layer of fat on and off through out my adult years as a way of feeling safe in the world. Many men and women do this. People are overweight, obese, fat, whatever word you want to use, for many reasons, and it is never okay to be cruel to them. Shaming people does not help them or motivate them to lose weight. It is not your right or anyone’s to motivate or judge anyone. I think I speak for everyone when I say, shut up. Just shut up.
You don’t know me. You have no right to judge me. I have been in therapy for a long time, years, to deal with my childhood abuse, including the sexual abuse to try to get control over my emotional and physical health issues. I am a kind and loving person. I am a strong person who escaped my abusive home when I was nineteen. My parents told me I was stupid and worthless my entire life. I put myself through college. I got a degree and worked in social services helping others. I am kind. I am compassionate. I am a hard worker.
I am married. I have friends. I have people that I love who love me back. I laugh and I cry just like everyone else. I love and I hurt. I make mistakes. I try to do the right things. I medicate myself with food, like some people who have been abused medicate themselves with alcohol or drugs. You don’t know me, so just shut up.
I have dug down deep into the pain of my past, dug up the ugliest, most painful memories of my parents’ abuse, the worst things they ever said or did to me, the heartbreaks of feeling unsafe in my own home as a little girl, as a teenager, in my own bed, on my own street, in my own small town, of having no one to talk to, and no one who seemed to care. I have faced the ugliness, and I have grown stronger. I have finally found peace. I finally like myself. I love myself. I don’t care what you think. So shut up.
Today, I called my primary doctor’s office and asked for a referral to a dietitian because I am ready to try what I hope will be my last diet, ready to get thin AGAIN, and hopefully feel safe staying at a normal weight, and just be myself. I have walked through hell, faced the horror of my past to get here. So shut up. You don’t know me.