Today, out of frustration, I wrote a three-part Tweet on Twitter in which I vented my honest and sincere frustration with mansplainers. It said, ” Oh mansplain to me again total stranger on the internet why as woman I am wrong about my opinion , and am too young although you don’t know my age, to know my real opinion. Oh please enlighten me oh wise man. Also the name of (my) auto biography, although a bit long, I admit.”
I did that after an interaction with, you guessed it, a man on the internet who informed me that my opinion was wrong, I was to young to know why my opinion was wrong (that wasn’t condescending at all) and that he could tell how old I was by the way I spoke in my tweets. He was wrong about all of that.
Okay, so that was sarcastic. I was frustrating and venting. A short time later, guess what, another person I call Mansplainer, answered me. He tweeted, ” So because you are a woman, you are automatically right, And men are just the oppressors of all females? Do you think men don’t tell other men that they are wrong and don’t know their own opinions? Sounds like equality 2 me in every sense of the word.”
My response in two tweets. “It’s you’re” “And thank you for making my point”
About an hour later, Mansplainer tweeted the following: “Did you give an opinion or just correct my grammer.”
My response, ” not smart enough to figure that out?”
His other response sent at about the same time was, “Let me guess. your single and have 2 plus cats? YOUR superior intellect has already put me in my man place. YOU’RE cats prob hate you 2”
My response, “Oh, I’m devastated. You mean my cats that you say I have don’t like me?”
And “It’s you’re”
And “My@bad It’s your and your, both are possessive. Although I don’t own two plus cats. But thanks for guessing. I am smart. 🙂
I actually messed up there. The @ was a typing mistake .and I was correct with the initial you’re. My grammar and typing teachers would both be proud. But then I changed it. Oh well. The last two I got correct. They are possessive. If mansplainer is telling me my opinion is wrong and why, then yes, I will correct his grammar. And if I make a mistake, I will own it. But I’ve already muted him, so I’m done with that.
I’m not single. I don’t have two cats plus, what a weird way to say that, but is that the worst thing he can think of to say to a person. I have cats? Really? I’m single? Wow, I will cry myself to sleep tonight. I might have pets and be single. That’s some amazing character assassination.
Anyway…. for a while I tried to understand what might motivate mansplainers and then I decided that I really didn’t give a fuck. I grew up with a mansplainer, my father, and he was well, an asshole. He had opinions about everything, not often based in fact, including my opinions which I wasn’t actually allowed to have or express until I moved the hell out of his house, and even then he didn’t want to hear them.
My father wasn’t very smart. He didn’t like or respect women, including me, his daughter, so yeah, I’ve had some experience with mansplainers. They just didn’t call them that when I was a teenager, or in my twenties. We just called them jerks or assholes.
Here is the problem…..if you, random man, come onto the internet and see that a woman expressed her opinion, you could say, oh, well, that’s nice, and move on, or you could have a conversation about it. You could say, oh well, I disagree, so let me just say that I disagree and why, then move on, or you could have a conversation about it.
But instead, you are telling me, a woman who knows my own fucking opinion and why I have it, that my opinion is WRONG, that I don’t even know what my own opinion is, and sometimes that I’m not old enough to have the information I need to form my stated opinion. So let me say, you don’t know how old I am and even if you do, it really doesn’t matter how old I am. I’m entitled to my own fucking opinion whatever it happens to be.
And seriously, that’s pretty fucking condescending to tell me that I’m not old enough to have the opinion that I actually have. How does that work exactly? Do you apply that same rule to men or is that rule just for women?
If my opinion is based on wrong information, well, I’m entitled to be wrong too. Men are often wrong. I’m pretty sure that Donald Trump is wrong several times a day, and he’s the President Elect. So if I have an opinion that’s wrong, I’m pretty sure it’ll be okay. Also, sometimes I state opinions and other times I state facts. You don’t know my life experiences, my educational experiences, the books I’ve read, or the research I might have done.
The more you try to control me and my opinons, however; I get a pretty clear picture of who YOU are.
So let ME help you out with a few facts. Women actually have working brains. We know our own opinions. We have read books. We have read news articles. We have had life experiences that you will never have. We neither want or need some stranger to explain them to us. We are often more intelligent than some random man on the internet trying to tell us what we think. We also don’t CARE what you think. Brace yourself, I have a truth that you need to hear, the world does not revolve around you and your approval, internet mansplainers.
I’m not actually there to have my opinion validated by a man. I know, strange men of the internet that you have a difficult time wrapping your mind and or ego around that. At least the men who are tempted to explain my opinion to ME and tell me why it’s wrong and why I can’t possibly know my own opinion, seem to have difficulty with this. The ones who don’t feel the need to do that, have never been an annoyance on-line. I’ve had respectful, interesting conversations with men and women on-line who are…..wait for it…respectful, intelligent, and informed.
I’m sure the battle for civil and respectful and intelligent conversations with rage on until I have mute or blocked every rude mansplainer on Twitter and or Facebook, but then more will come, and then more, because, well, there’s more mansplainers born every day. I mean, that’s my guess. But we can hope that as a society we can keep trying to do better. I mean, maybe read a book.
My husand, a good, intelligent man, not a mansplainer, asked me why I respond to these people on Twitter.
I have an answers, first, I get mansplained to nearly every damn time I go on the internet. I’m just minding my own business, talking to friends on their pages, commenting on an article, posting my own damn blog, or tweeting in a hashtag game, and some random man, not women, men, tell me that I don’t know what my own opinion is. It’s consistently men and not bright men who tell me that I don’t know my own opinion. This is what our country has become. There’s a word for what men do, mansplaining, because it happens all of the time. Men think they have the right to tell women what they, women, think and how to do things that they already know how to do. It happens constantly, not just on the internet, at work, at home, everywhere.
I had a new boss and he actually said, “I don’t know what your job is, but you are doing it wrong.” I had worked in that job that I did well for over four years. Can you say arrogant?
This happens in everyday life, all of the time, so yes, I will confront it, and I will mock you if you do this to me if I’m in a mocking mood.
And the most important reason is because a bunch of stupid people elected a stupid man, to be President of the United States starting in January. He thinks he knows more than any smart women, or any smart man. And. He. Does. Not.
Again, stupid men and yes, some women elected a stupid man to run our country. The dumbing down of America has been a very real and dangerous thing, and I can’t ignore it. Trump is on the news everyday. So if someone stupid tweets or Facebooks at me or speaks to me, and I feel like mocking it, or saying, hey, I know my own fucking opinion, I will.
So please, mansplainers, stop it. We know what we think. Take all of that energy and whatever else it is that you have going on there and read a book.